Focus Versus Balance: A Tail From The Dog Park

Toby arrives towards the end of our morning at the dog park as part of a dog walker’s pack. What makes him special is his love affair with a big red ball. Toby heads directly to it and proceeds to run it around the park with a skill that would rival a soccer pro. If the ball is outside the park and one of us tosses it in, the sound of the ball hitting the dirt is enough to grab Toby’s attention from anywhere in the park.

But Toby’s game, while admirable and amusing to those who watch him, had a distinct downside. By being so focused on the ball, Toby failed to socialize with the other members of his pack. In the absence of the ball, he didn’t really know how to interact with the other dogs and got into trouble from time to time. There was only one solution: Toby had to go cold turkey. At the request of his walker, we stopped tossing Toby the ball and no longer encouraged his play. It took a few weeks but Toby is now well-adjusted and enjoys playing with other dogs. He still gets to play with his ball but not every time he comes to the park.

Being focused is an admirable quality and can be important to success. But anything taken to extreme is not healthy. Many of us focus heavily on our jobs or other aspects of our life without realizing that doing so closes us off from personal interactions. And in the long run, those interactions are what gives meaning to our lives. This is why achieving balance in life is so important. If you’re too busy chasing that big red ball, you may be missing out on the social interactions that make life worth living.

Ignore Disadvantages – A Tail from the Dog Park

Bronson in full flight – Photo: Mariah Evin

Bronson is the canine equivalent of the Energizer Bunny. His guardian usually begins her day with a run of 5 miles or more before joining our group at the dog park. Bronson accompanies her but you would never know it from the way he acts. He hits the gate running, often with all four feet off the ground, and takes on the biggest dogs with impunity. He doesn't stop until his leash is on for the walk home.

What makes this so much fun is that Bronson is a Corgi and has legs that are shorter than just about any of the other dogs. He stands about 10 inches high. His legs and height are distinct disadvantages when he's running with the big dogs. But Bronson never let's that stop him. He comes from Welsh herding stock and uses his speed and cornering ability to compensate.

All too often, we let disadvantages serve as an excuse for not taking action. There's never enough time, you don't have the budget, you're compatriots are unreliable or not doing their fair share. There are always excuses for inaction.

But there are always ways to overcome disadvantages as well. It is challenge that makes us seek creative solutions, not avoidance. These ways may require more thought and more work but they may lead to success, something that will definitely not happen if your do nothing. Besides, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it and you wouldn't be needed.

So take a lesson from Bronson the Incorrigible Corgi. Ignore your disadvantages, be nimble and fast, and seek alternative solutions.

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Get out of your comfort zone – A Tail from the Dog Park

Cookie challenges the big dogs

Cookie's a fairly recent addition to our group of friends at the dog park. An immigrant, she was born in India and rescued by her current guardians. Coming to the United States wasn't easy. Cookie spent most of her young life in quarantine, something on the order of four months.

Arriving at a park where she had never been before and being greeted by more dogs than she had ever seen in one place before was, to say the least, a bit traumatic for her. She spent much of that first morning cowering between her guardian's legs and avoiding her new friends.

But Cookie is not a quitter. By the next day, she was sticking her nose out, just a bit, and engaging with the smaller dogs. By the third day she was venturing further away from the protection of her guardian and spending more time getting to know the rest of the pack. Within a week or so, Cookie proved herself completely fearless, eagerly joining the big dogs in their games and completely integrating with her canine pals.

Cookie became a valued member of our group by stepping outside her comfort zone. Interestingly enough, this same issue was discussed in a recent leadership coaching conference I attended. The point made at the conference was exactly that demonstrated by Cookie: to achieve anything requires that you step outside your comfort zone and take risks. This not only helps us grow as leaders but can improve our overall quality of life.

So give it a try. Do one thing today that makes you stretch your talents and makes you just a bit uncomfortable. You never know where it might lead.

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Resistance to Change: A Tail from the dog park

Turf Battles: A Tail from the Dog Park

Resistance to Change: A Tail from the dog park

He goes by the improbable name of Bowser, a big, gentle labrador who loves to play. Bowser until recently was one of our regulars at the dog park. Sadly, he won't be joining us for our early morning romps in the future.

No, Bowser hasn't gone to the Big Dog Park in the Sky. We've had that happen to other friends and it's always a difficult time for all. No, this is Bowser's own fault. You see, he just doesn't adapt well to change.

The problem is that Bowser's guardians have bought a new car. Apparently, that "new car smell" we humans enjoy so much doen't work for Bowser. Unlike the smelly old car that he associated with trips to the dog park, it is an unknown smell and, in his world, that's not a good thing. Bowser refused to enter the new car and when an eighty pound dog digs in his heels, you're not moving him without a great deal of effort. It was easier to create a new routine of local walks than to fight him every morning and so Bowser is now making new friends closer to home.

Change is difficult for many of us, some more than others. Yet we can only grow through new experiences. Bowser's recalcitrance has two lessons for us. The first is that resisting change can alter your world just as strongly change can. The second is that resisting change doesn't always lead to negative consequences, just different ones. Bowser is still enjoying walks and making friends.

But I bet he's not having as much fun as he did at the dog park!

Focus, Patience and Dignity: A Tail from the Dog Park

Lolita with her prize

Lolita, or Lolly to her friends, is a grande dame of the dog park. A bit of a curmudgeon, she has staked out her personal space and all the regular dogs know to give her a wide berth. Not that she's mean or vicious – she's just dignified and won't put up the shenanigans of the younger dogs. A quick growl and a commanding look is all it takes to remind them that they are in the presence of someone important.

But that doesn't mean that Lolly isn't interested in the goings on at the park. She enjoys her toys and usually gets what she wants. When the other dogs are playing with a toy that Lolly wants, she moves in close and lays down, biding her time. Sooner or later, the other dogs become so immersed in their battle for the toy that they actually ignore it for a few seconds. While their focus is on each other, Lolly darts in and grabs the toy. Her dignity is such that none of the other dogs will contest her right to its possession.

We can learn several lessons from Lolly. The first is the importance of keeping your focus on what you want to achieve. Lolly doesn't allow herself to be distracted by the antics of others. She knows what she wants and keeps her focus on achieving her prize.

The second lesson is the virtue of patience. Lolly is prepared to wait as long as it takes until the perfect moment arrives. Then she acts swiftly and decisively. Make your plan then wait for the conditions to be right to implement it. Remember that timing is everything

One final lesson is the importance of maintaining your dignity. Lolly doesn't lower her standards just to achieve a result. She knows that patience and focus will get her what she wants without compromises.

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Turf Battles: A Tail from the Dog Park

Turf Battles: A Tail from the Dog Park

Princess Leia, Ruler of the Universe

One of Kona's pals is a chihuahua/poodle mix named Princess Leia. Leia weighs about eight or nine pounds soaking wet but that doesn't keep her from running with the big dogs. She usually does this by hiding behind someone's legs and dashing out when she sees an opportunity for play. However, on those occasions when she arrives first to an empty dog park, Leia shows why she is called "Princess". She assumes the park is hers and aggressively confronts all who seek entry. She barks, she charges, she's completely fearless.

In this Princess Leia is not unlike a lot of people I have met during my career. We sometimes have a tendency to carve out an area of influence and aggressively defend it against all comers. There are times, of course,when this is necessary. I once had a department head seek to absorb my office into her department and I had to play a bit of hardball because it was not in the best interests of the public to do so.

But I've also seen vicious infighting among government agencies to preserve duplicate or contradictory programs. I've seen good programs cancelled because of these turf wars. Worse, I have seen desperately needed help turned down because of the fear that accepting it would somehow diminish someone's perceived influence over their "turf."

The onlookers at the dog park are always amused by Leia's antics. We know that she wouldn't survive a serious encounter with most the dogs she chases and none of them take her seriously. So the next time you're thinking about engaging in a turf battle, think about what an outside observer would see. Is this really the way you want to look to your peers?

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Conflict Resolution: A Tail From the Dogpark

Conflict Resolution: A Tail From the Dog Park

Kona keeps Cody calm by playing with as stick.

Kona's best friend Cody got into a bit of a scuffle in the dogpark the other day. Cody is very jealous where Kona is concerned, particularly when he first arrives and has to separate her from the crowd. This was the case here and Cody mixed it up with an unfamiliar dog. The overreaction of the inexperienced owner of the other dog, highlighted a number of conflict resolution concepts that experienced dog owners seem to have evolved.

1. Let the participants settle it themselves. Like mothers with crying babies, a good dog owner can usually tell whether the fight has the potential to escalate or is merely one dog giving another a strong warning. In the latter case, once the warning is acknowledged the conflict is over. Sometimes the conflict is over before you have time to consider whether to intervene.
2. Intervene only if its serious. Getting between two scuffling dogs can be risky, particularly if they weigh in excess of 70 lbs like Cody does. It's not something you want to do if you can avoid it. This is why letting the participants resolve the conflict themselves can be a good option.
3. Be careful not to make things worse. If you become upset, you can communicate these feelings to the participants and increase their emotional investment in the conflict. Losing your objectivity and becoming emotionally involved can make the conflict worse.
4. Intervention need not be drastic. Separate two dogs for a few minutes and suddenly they're pals again. Sometimes just getting participants calmed down allows for swift resolution of the conflict.
5. Sometimes you just have to walk away. In this case, the owner was more of a problem than his dog, so Cody had to go home. There are occasionally conflicts that can't be resolved and you just have to move on.

Perspective: A Tail from the Dog Park

Kona surveys her world from the top of The Mound

Occasionally the Recreation and Parks folks drop a mound of dirt in the middle of the dog park where my dog, Kona, and I spend most mornings. Nobody really knows why they do it but does create a certain variation in an otherwise flat landscape. Between active dogs running over them and digging for buried treasure, the mounds gradually disappear over time.

Recently I decided that an expedition was in order and hiked to the top of the current mound. It was tough going as the mound must be at least 6 inches high and might even reach a foot. The view was worth the effort, though.

Okay, I'm being a bit facetious. The interesting thing is that just that small bit of elevation for some reason changed how I viewed the park. I'm not really sure why – it was just different. Maybe it was being a bit taller than everyone else. Maybe it was because I could see just a bit further beyond the park boundaries. Something was different, though. It must even more dramatic for a dog.

I've also experienced the same thing in martial arts where a change in your body position can provide new opportunities for engaging your opponent. Just a small shift can allow you to see new angles of attack that you never noticed before.

My point here is that small changes in your perspective can yield dramatic results. It isn't necessary to change the world but you can create incremental change that over time will allow you to reach your goal. Consultant guru Alan Weiss says that if you can improve by just 1% each day, in 70 days you will be twice as good.

So fill your water bottle, cinch up your rucksack, and get to the top of that mound. The view is great!